“Always have I loved thee! Ever shall I love thee!”

“Always have I loved thee! Ever shall I love thee!”

Paramhansa Yogananda’s mother passed away when he was only eleven years old. In his own words he shares how Divine Mother brought “final healing” to the loss of his earthly mother:

When we reached our Calcutta home, it was only to confront the stunning mystery of death. I collapsed into an almost lifeless state. Years passed before any reconciliation entered my heart. Storming the very gates of heaven, my cries at last summoned the Divine Mother. Her words brought final healing to my suppurating wounds:
“It is I who have watched over thee, life after life, in the tenderness of many mothers! See in My gaze the two black eyes, the lost beautiful eyes, thou seekest!”

-Paramhansa Yogananda, Autobiography of a Yogi

Perhaps like Yogananda you have lost your earthly mother or one of your dearest friends. How can we too have the experience of Divine Mother that brings healing to our hearts?

Yogananda gives us a not-so-subtle hint through his story in Autobiography of a Yogi. We need to give Her (Divine Mother) our soul call! Then She cannot remain hidden anymore.

It reminds me of a personal experience with Divine Mother. When I first discovered the spiritual path, I lived alone in a small apartment in Hoboken, New Jersey close to Manhattan. Like those that live in a large city, although I was surrounded by millions of people, I actually felt quite alone. The paradox of “modern” living!

After reading the Autobiography of a Yogi, I discovered Ananda. I decided to take a vacation and visit Ananda Village in Northern California during Spiritual Renewal Week. The kindness of the people there along with the spiritual practices of meditation and service transformed me on an inner level that is hard to describe. Like a desperate desert wanderer, I felt like I had finally found the living water that slaked my thirst.

When I returned home to my apartment after the week-long immersion, it was hard to endure the feelings of loneliness. To remind myself of Ananda Village and the community there, I played a recording of chants that I had purchased during my retreat. One of the chants on the album was titled “Always Have I Loved Thee.” Unbeknownst to me it was a chant of Divine Mother.

Alone in my apartment I was reading the Autobiography of a Yogi and listening to the chanting album. At the time, the passage I was reading was another experience Yogananda had with Divine Mother:

My steps were eager as I returned to my Gurpar Road home. Seeking the seclusion of my small attic, I remained in meditation until ten o’clock. The darkness of the warm Indian night was suddenly lit with a wondrous vision.
Haloed in splendor, the Divine Mother stood before me. Her face, tenderly smiling, was beauty itself.
Always have I loved thee! Ever shall I love thee!

As I read those words in the book, the singers on the album were chanting the very same ones! I was awestruck. I turned around to look at my empty apartment to see if there was somewhere there. How could the words in the book and on the CD synchronize at the same time? Even more mind-blowing was when I realized the song was inspired by the very story I was reading.

As Swami Kriyananda said in one of his last songs, “Yes, it’s She, the Divine Mother!”  Divine Mother was speaking to me (and us all):

“Know that you live not alone! Always have I loved thee! Ever shall I love thee!

Today, December 1, 2022, we are thrilled to launch Crystal Clarity Publishers’ newest release: God as Divine Mother: Wisdom & Inspiration for Love & Acceptance. We hope you feel Her loving embrace as you read this new and inspiring book.

With love & blessings,
Nayaswami Narayan

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